Have You Ever Really Thanked Your Mother?

So a few weeks ago, I had a……..bit of a meltdown. (Facing one’s demons is never a pleasant experience.) It was one of the few times in my life where I was really crying. I mean really crying. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t cry, and if I do, something is very very wrong. (As Mama puts it “My up girl is down – what’s wrong?”) It was incredibly scary. The shock of having to face it, and to do it so quickly definitely put me into emotional overdrive, and the fountains of the deep opened up. As I lay there late that night, sobbing, wallowing in self-pity, wondering why it had to be me, what did I do wrong, why the things that have happened to me happened to me, etc., Mama held me. Yes, I am a full-grown woman, but sometimes, we need our parents to face our battles for us, no matter our age. That’s called being a good parent. Thankfully she knew I wasn’t ready, and didn’t press the matter. She calmed me down and put my mind at ease.

The next day, my mind began reflecting upon the things she’d done for me over the years. From carrying me, to giving birth to me (she was a trooper!) to being patient with her extremely strong-willed and independent 2-year-old little girl, all the way up to trying to keep it together when things got really bad, to always providing for me, to the best of her abilities, and just trying to be the best parent she knew how, no matter how many times she didn’t feel like it, or was scared, or felt like she failed me. She just kept pressing on.

So much has happened to us, especially in the last year. She’s done a phenomenal job of keeping it together when her mettle was tested.  It dawned on me that I have never really thanked her for everything she’s done and everything she continues to do for me.

Although this coincides with Mother’s Day, this applies to fathers too. Or to whomever has been there for us during the darkest times in our lives. So have you ever really thanked your mother/father/guardian?

A special thank you goes to all of our hardworking parents out there, and for you, Mama:

Thank you again, for always cheering me on in my triumphs, and holding me when I feel my world is falling apart. Happy Mother’s Day from your IsaBooBell 😀

Advertisements

Reflecting on Things Past

I recently celebrated the anniversary of the day my life took a drastic change for the better.

Little did I know that would be one of the best things to ever happen to me – EVER. My life had become hopelessly stagnant. On the outside, you’d have thought I was sweet, mature, kind, caring, etc., but on the inside, I had become a monster – just to survive.  The future seemed like it’d never come and I’d be stuck where I was forever.

And then that day came. It happened so suddenly. At the time, it was so scary – I had no idea what was going on and just felt utterly lost and panicked.

Fast forward to the present, a lot of good has happened in my life and I’m just now beginning to look back and marvel at how much I’ve grown – and I am so blessed. Though I regret having had to become that person, because of other people’s BAD choices, I know within myself I will NEVER be that person again – I’m surrounded by too many good examples and too many people that care.

As I start this next chapter in my life, I realize, day by day, little by little, I’m getting stronger, smarter and more capable than I thought I could be – and that not only is life not meant to be lived in survival mode, but I don’t have to live in survival mode.

I know I am going to have ONE AWESOME LIFE because I choose to, regardless of what life has thrown and will throw at me. (That’s not to say I don’t feel a little scared or daunted, but I’m not hopeless. 🙂 )

I look at my screenplay projects and that excitement for my future manifests in my signature gleeful squeal. 😀 😀 😀  Woooohoooo!!!

“The World Is A Vampire…….”

Out of nowhere I remembered the first part of Bullet With Butterfly Wings……I hadn’t heard that song in literally YEARS. Seeing the album cover art was like seeing an old friend.  It brought back so many memories – my wonderful older brother playing the latest Smashing Pumpkins songs at full blast after school (even with both our doors closed, I hated hearing the bass pounding through the wall. Strangely, now that I’m older, I LOVE cranking up the bass 😀 ) our tree house, the Backstreet Boys (still love them – has it really been 20 years?!?!)

I miss those days. The days of chasing the popsicle man for probably a half mile in my swimsuit on my bike (giving my trooper Mama one of many heart attacks, I’m sure) summer days filled with nothing but fun – the slip n’ slide, going to the lake, going bowling, roller skating, sleepovers, the annual neighborhood 4th of July BBQ (where I remember turning down a forkful of crab from a lady who used said fork.)  Life was so much simpler then. I had no worries.

The 90’s was where it was at – the good music, the good times. No, we didn’t have iPhones and high speed internet at our fingertips, but I wouldn’t trade that part of my childhood for anything. Today’s kids are living in a much more complicated world.

I had it good. And I’m grateful I was a child of the 90’s.